On the road with Him who is the Way

As you know, my life is on the road in one way or another. Yes, I also experience the truth of the Bible verse that says, that whoever leaves houses for His name’s sake will receive a hundredfold (Matt 19:29). But at the same time I am always on the road. And that is a beautiful thing! Do you realize, that Yeshua never said of Himself, that He is the goal? But He did say of Himself that He is the Way, so it is good to be on the way, on the road. This brings me to the importance of learning to live in the present. I have realized over the past years, that my goal of getting healed from all the pain and wounds of life, is in itself not bad. But with it I had the expectation, that once healed, I would be “perfect”. Even if I would be fully healed, I have realized I would still fall short of the glory, holiness and perfection of God. Also, I might think that I should already be more healed, but for God my brokenness is no obstacle, otherwise He would already have changed it. So I am in need of another perspective. This perspective was given to my by IFnT, short for Insight Focused neuro Therapy, an integrative approach to healing and personal growth. In IFnT neuroscience, psychology and Biblical truths are combined to bring new perspectives and a place to breath. I have started this course over a year ago and even though I write about it only now, I have already greatly benefitted from it. Today, before giving you an update on my physical wanderings, I would like to share one principle with you.

Emergent living

When you translate this term Emergent living into other languages, you get descriptions like: living from the here and now, de-shuttering living (about taking away shutters), unfolding living, budding living and blossoming living. The idea is, that when we live with a point on the horizon as our goal, everything will point to that and our road will become narrower and narrower, to be able to reach that point. It looks like this: ↗ ↖ But when we live from the here and now, embracing what our life is at this moment and from this point look out at the world and at life, we start from a fixed point but have in front of us a large scope of opportunities. And it will look like this: ↖↗ With this way of living there is more and more space to breath and to be, whereas with the point on the horizon, things get more and more restricted. I think we can recognize these two different ways of living in the persons of Martha and Mary as they are depicted in the gospel of Luke chapter 10. Here we have Martha, acting with a fixed point on the horizon: to be the best host for Yeshua, that He will be all taken care of and nothing will lack Him. Mary is sitting at the feet of Yeshua, enjoying the here and now with Him. I think all of us recognize who is the happier person of the two in this story and Yeshua confirms it by saying that Mary has chosen the good part and it will not be taken from her. So I am learning to live my life in the here and now, embracing me and my life as we are now with its ups and downs. And just taking one step at the time, a step on the way that is Yeshua, because He is present in my here and now. He is present when the road is rocky and when the road is smooth. He is here and walks with me, with us. He is the one who was, who is and who is to come, the great I AM, fully present in the now

Just an extra thought on having a point on the horizon: the moment you start moving toward that point, the horizon will move further away. In this life we will never reach the horizon (things might be different when we will be living in the reality of a new heaven and a new earth… 😉), because it will always move away from you. This projected point on the horizon is unattainable! I pray that you may also encounter Yeshua in your here and now, let His light shine in the beauty and in the difficulties of what your life is at this moment and from there walk the road! As an exercise I invite you to take a moment to pause and take in your surrounding: what do you see? What do you hear? What do you feel? I am sitting outside in the shade, with a view over the desert. I hear birds twitter and sing. I feel

the wind on my skin. Not all is beautiful. I also hear busses pass and heavy machinery work on the new neighborhood in the desert. I acknowledge those things, but do not dwell on them. They just are. I do go deeper into the feeling of the wind on my skin. How is that for me? It is pleasant, tender and feels like a caress from God. And how is that for me? It feels like I am melting a bit, the hardness of my need to perform is melting a bit. And how is that for me? It is freeing, liberating, like I can shake off a burden too long attached to me. And I am allowed to be, just be and enjoy. And here I pause a few moments from writing and just enjoy. What is God saying to me in this? I am allowed and invited to move freely, without the need to perform, without every movement needing to have purpose and be effective, efficient, and optimal. Just me being me is enough, me breathing, feeling, hearing, seeing is fulfilling God’s purpose for me.

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Unexpected itinerary So, after my time in Spain and Portugal, I thought to travel to Israel. Even though Israel was in the middle of the war with Iran, I felt God telling me to go there and that He would go with me. So I obeyed (with joy, because I always rejoice going to Israel) and got to the airport to take my plane to Israel. But they didn’t get permission from Israel to let me on the plane (and with me a lot of other foreigners, because of the war). So, did I not hear correctly from God? That might be, but I acted according to my conscience, to what I thought He asked of me. And perhaps this was just a way of teaching me obedience. And whatever it was, He was still there with me, taking care of me and providing for me, because within half an hour of hearing that I was not allowed on the plane to Israel, I had a ticket to fly a few hours later to Eindhoven, my city in the Netherlands, giving me the opportunity to celebrate Easter with my family and community in the Netherlands. I stayed three weeks in the Netherlands. It was a time with rest, time with friend and family but also several practical and medical things I needed to take care of. So, the time was too short, but I was looking forward to my next step: a midweek intercession in Austria. With intercessors from all over Europe and the United States we gathered in Hainburg in the house of Father Peter Hocken. This group of intercessors was founded by father Peter, carrying the spiritual burdens that Father Peter carried, so I felt like a fish in the water. It was a beautiful and rich time together. From here I traveled to Poland to spend about a month at the Fountain of Tears in Brzezinka.

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At the Fountain of Tears

So the Fountain of Tears in Poland is located at about 300 meters of the entrance gates of the extermination camp of Auschwitz-Birkenau. This was my second time to be there as an intercessor and receiving visitors. To read about my first time, click here. Where during the winter I had an average of one visit a week, I now had an average of one visit a day! Most of the time it were people who happened to walk by and were curious enough to stop for a moment and visit the Fountain. I have had people from many different countries: Poland, France, Canada-Portugal-Sweden, a Russian from Estonia and Russians from Russia, Ukraine, Switzerland, Germany, Australia, Belgium, Italy, two Ugandans from the USA, together with two American guys from Amish background, people from the UK and Czech republic. Most of the visitors were young men in their twenties and thirties, travelling alone or with one or two others. It was amazing to see how these young men, who will have mainly grown up without God or religion, were just drinking in every word I spoke, while I was speaking about prayer, Yeshua, the crucifixion and God. Having grown up without religion they don’t know anything, but they also don’t have the typical dismissiveness and guarded attitude of those who did grow up with religion, but have rejected it. I have encountered that in the visitors in their fifties and older. But all in all the encounters were very rich and I feel so privileged to have been able to spend some time there again! Also the times spent with other believers in Brzezinka and in Krakow were precious. This is another place that I can call home 😊.

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Now Generation

From here I traveled with Asia to Herrnhut in Germany to the Now Generation meeting, the younger people of TJCII. This time it was more an all-generation meeting, but God had its purpose with it. Our theme of this year was Gen 26:15-22. It starts with Isaac re-digging the wells that his father had dug and that were closed off by the Philistines. In my preparation this is the part God really spoke to me, because this is something that God has been dealing with in my own life over the past years. About the wells it says, that the Philistines had closed them off with earth (or sand or dirt). Knowing the Israeli desert, I am quite sure it will have been a mixture of sand and stones, because there isn’t so much sand/earth here 😉. And if we look at stones, I believe they are stones of offense. What are these stones of offense? We can take offense at God, at our brothers and sisters or it can be a combination. In my own life the first offense that God addressed was offense at Him. I didn’t only have the question: “Why, God?”, but I even had a “How dare You, God!” in me. In a process He gave me the grace to relinquish the offense to Him. I have learned that in releasing our offenses (which can be at God, but also at brothers and sisters), it opens up the way for a new intimacy and the free flow of the Spirit between us. In a time of prayer and intercession during our time in Herrnhut we repented for offenses taken. Being in Herrnhut itself was already a blessing of touching old wells. The history of this place as being a place of refuge for Christians from different denominations and some with Jewish heritage, and them learning to live together in unity, is worthwhile discovering!

On our day trip to Dresden, where we visited a Messianic congregation and had a guided tour by a Lutheran pastor, connected to TJCII, something funny happened. During our traveling from Poland to Herrnhut, Asia and I had connected with a British couple traveling in the same direction. We had a moment of light conversation with them and also shared with them about the purpose of our visit. They hadn’t responded very much, but it was a nice encounter. While in Dresden during our guided tour I see them walk by! I went over to greet them and we had a beautiful encounter and they joined us for some of our tour, which gave us the opportunity to talk some more. It turned out, that they had wanted to share a bit more about the topics that Asia and I had talked about, but that hadn’t happened, since we left the train earlier than they did. But God provided in this way and we said good bye as friends!

From the Now Generation meeting I traveled to a dear friend in Darmstadt and spend two beautiful days with her and her family before traveling to Israel. That is where I am now, taking care of the Fountain of Tears. I will stay here until the beginning of August, when I will travel to France to join the Messianic Hope conference in Gagnières.

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