Choose life!

In these days I am leaving the Fountain of Tears in Brzezinka, Oświęcim, Poland after a good six weeks here. And wow, what a time it has been! I was looking forward to this time, but was also a bit apprehensive. How would I stand the cold, the dark and the fact that I would be so much alone? In past years I already have spent some time in winter in Poland, but that was more in the beginning of winter and never in the heart of the much colder winters that Poland has been known for than what I am used to from the Netherlands. Also, since Poland is on the east of the same time zone as we have in the Netherlands (which is in the west of that zone), the sun sets here almost an hour earlier than in the Netherlands. That is a lot in winter, when the sun sets early anyway. And then the prospect of being alone many hours during the day if not days on end. I wasn’t looking forward to those things. But God really met me in all of them. He touched the deeper fear behind that fear of being alone. At the same time He provided for me more moments of human contact than I had anticipated, especially with our neighbors from across the street. So those two things together make, that I have really enjoyed my time here, also the times that I was alone. Regarding the dark, besides the sun setting so early I have also had a lot of really foggy and grey days. But also in all of that God gave me the grace of discovering beauty. I have tried to go out for a walk every morning before opening up the Fountain of Tears to see some daylight and to enjoy nature. On these walks there has been something beautiful every day, even in small simple things. And regarding the cold: I suffer more of cold in the winter in Israel, than I have done here in Poland! The houses here are equipped for this kind of weather. And with the right clothes you can also enjoy a time outside in the cold, knowing that a warm place is waiting for you.

And then my time at the Fountain itself. The Fountain is open five days a week from 10am in the morning until 4pm in the afternoon. If I count correctly I have had a total of 6 visits to the Fountain of passersby, of which one couple form the UK that didn’t even enter, but we had a good talk outside. One guy from Germany thought he wanted to visit, but was probably set off by the connection with God and prayer and was outside again within 5 minutes… I think the most special visits were from Muslims. First I had a mother and daughter from France. They were really interested and experienced the Foutain of Tears as a very deep place. The second Muslim visit was from a young couple from Pakistan! They didn’t come now all the way from Pakistan, they are living in Krakow, but still. I had not expected that… Even more so, when I heard that they also had visited Majdanek. This is the concentration and extermination camp in Lublin, that I also visited last year during a TJCII intercession time in Lublin. They really wanted to learn about the history of the Holocaust. I have had a real dialogue with them, even though on the points of Yeshua and of Israel we didn’t agree. But it was beautiful to see the pureness of their hearts. May Yeshua reveal Himself to them!

Besides these passersby I have had three visits from a Polish friend of the Fountain. With his company Roman has helped to put the statue of roaring lion, that is in front of the Fountain, in place. He came these times not to work in the natural, but in the spiritual. With some friends he came for a time of worship in the Fountain of Tears itself. These times have been very precious with a sweet presence of the Lord, very anointed shofar blowing and deep fellowship. Personally I have been deeply encouraged by these times and I also feel they will bring forth fruit for the Fountain and its message. Another two encouraging visits were from Dorota, the administrator of the Fountain here in Poland, who brought a Dutch friend of hers, Irma. It was amazing to meet Irma and share things about our lives. She is just finishing up a season of seven years, in which she has lived as I am living now: from our suitcase, going where the Spirit leads. It was so cool to meet another ‘Tramp for the Lord’ as Corry ten Boom used to call herself! I am sure that if we would have more time, we would still have plenty to talk about. Good to know, that we will meet again in eternity 😉. And Rick came for five days, to be there for the three day visit of a group from Korea. With this group I was able to enter Auschwitz-Birkenau for a one hour visit, for which I am very grateful. The remainder of the time at the Fountain I tried to take every day 2 hours of intercession and the rest of the time I had always things to do for myself.

And all of this is beautiful, but not the real reason why I wanted to write this blog. I wanted to share with you some of the things that God showed me during my intercession times. This process of showing is not just giving a mental picture. No, in general it goes through my emotions, touching my personal experience and those things are put in the light of a bible verse or a word of God that I feel in my heart. One of the first days that I was alone in the Fountain I took a time of prayer next to the first panel in the Hallway of Question:

This sculpted panel represents the question: “Where does prayer begin?”

Rick always says that a creative process is like a prayer originating in the heart of God. It is buried inside, pressing, struggling to come out and be realized.

As you look closely at this panel, you see that the seed is buried and alone. It is existing but untouched.

Standing next to this panel I realized that the seed, the prayer planted by God in our hearts, is a hole in the panel. It is like the panel is pierced here. The same way with a prayer that God plants in our hearts: it pierces our hearts. Are we willing to let our hearts be pierced?

With the second question “Does prayer begin to express itself the moment when it is touched by a tear?”

As you look closely at this panel, you see that the tear is coming from above, and the seed is starting to change and respond.

As a seed will only develop when it is watered, the same way a prayer can only develop when it is touched by a tear, by our emotions. How often have I not been willing to let my heart be pierced by God or be willing to cry the tears? How many prayers has God planted in my heart that have not developed because of this? Lord, forgive me!

Another day I was praying in the Fountain of Tears with the wall with the seven last words of Yeshua.

I was standing opposite the first panel "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do".

I realized that Yeshua could have said something else. With one word from His mouth He could have taken revenge on His torturers. He could have taken all the revenge that we feel in our hearts whenever we are wronged, and so much more! It would have been so easy for Yeshua to act on those feelings. But He did not. And instead, He chose to speak these words, creating a covenant of forgiveness. I realized: Yeshua did not take the revenge that leads to death. He took the revenge that leads to life by speaking these words of forgiveness. It is just like the sculpture of the roaring Lion that stands in front of the Fountain.

This sculpture is called The Revenge of the Lamb. You see a Lion, sitting on a pile of twelve stones, representing the twelve tribes of Israel. There is a lamb lying between the front paws of the lion, it looks like slain. The lion is roaring. God had used the word Payback to speak to Rick about creating the Fountain of Tears. One day Rick asked God what the Hebrew word for Payback is. He didn’t expect an answer, but got it right away: נקמה, which means Revenge. Rick didn’t understand, until he visited some Holocaust survivors a few days later. At one point the lady shows him a picture with her and her husband surrounded by their children and grandchildren. Her comment was: “This is our revenge: They wanted us dead and we brought life!”. That is the revenge that the lion also takes in this sculpture: He roars life over what seems dead and it will come to life again. With his roaring the lion is taking revenge for the lamb, who was slain. The same way God’s revenge of life is coming, also regarding the history of the Holocaust.

One day I walked through the Hallway of Questions and I was stopped between the forth and the fifth panel. It is the time when the seed is still in the dark, just before breaking through the earth and coming to the light.

I stood there, realizing how dark also the walls are of the Hallway of Questions. And I felt my prayer at that moment was about choosing to be there, in the darkness. Daring to remain there, even when God feels dark. He is present, also there, but He might ‘feel’ dark to us, touching Him without it bringing light. Do I dare to remain there? Do I dare to wait for the light to break through? I felt the Lord saying to me: Choose life! Choose life in the midst of darkness. Choose life, even in pain, brokenness, apparent absence of God. Choose life! Of course these verses from Deuteronomy came to mind:

I call Heaven and earth to record today against you. I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing. Therefore, choose life, so that both you and your seed may live, so that you may love the LORD your God, [and] that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him. For He is your life and the length of your days, so that you may dwell in the land which the LORD swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give it to them. Deuteronomy 30:19-20

We are called, as Yeshua, to choose life and not death. To choose blessing and not cursing. So often, when things are difficult, there is some kind of cursing in my heart, either to the circumstances, to other people, to myself or also to God. It can be a small thing, like a complaint about the cold. But every curse brings death. So, choose life! Choose blessing, choose forgiveness. This is a prayer that is still working its way through my heart. May God give in His appropriate time the necessary tears to water this prayer and help me more and more to choose life!

Suppose this blog has really appealed to you and you feel drawn to serve as an intercessor at the Fountain: Think and pray about it, and if the feeling remains, please contact me : paulaleitner [a] hotmail.com.

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